Success

It is now ten minutes till 1000 and Alex is sound asleep and has been for about 30 minutes now YAY! That means that I was able to get my school assignments done, and still have time to do dishes. What am I going to do with myself? I'm not used to not having to fight with him to get him to go to sleep. It is so nice to only hear the TV, and not worry about him getting up every 2 minutes. Well since I have the time, no sense in wasting it on the computer. Gotta get to work.

Sex/ Gender discrimination

So I have noticed a lot of blog posts and Internet chatter in general about the issue with gender that came up at PantheaCon. Since my reading assignment for my Multicultural Education class this week was gender and sexual orientation, I thought I would at least state my two cents. So apparently the issue was that Transwoman were not allowed to attend an all woman blessing ritual. If you know the entire story, I apologize for not going into more detail, and if you don't please feel free to look into it. The issue was that it was stated that the ritual was for "Genetic Women Only."

OK so here are my thoughts on the issue. Yes I agree that there are certain "mysteries" that are SEX specific. Yes I said sex, not gender. The difference is that sex is biological while gender is an identification and characteristics established by society. What determines our sex is hormones and biology, but what determines our gender is our connection and what society expects. So with that being said, why cant a person who self identifies as a woman, physically appears to be a woman (mostly some things just take longer to get "fixed"), lives as a woman, worships as a woman, and has female hormones, but is genetically a man receive the same blessings on HER body and spirit as someone who was born with two X chromosomes.
I understand that the ritual was performed sky clad, and that a penis would obviously *cough* stand out (no pun intended), but that is usually the only part, if any, that is "male" and many times, they ensure that it is "hidden."

Maybe I'm just TOO open-minded, but I thought that as Pagan's we were supposed to be understanding and accepting of everyone no matter what their choices were. Everyone talks about remembering the Burning Times and the persecution we experienced at the hands of Christians. How is this any different? We were persecuted because our beliefs were different from theirs. Now we are starting to do the same to our own people. Yes I understand that this particular path is Women Only, but if it had not been for it being a sky clad ritual, how would anyone have known?

Again, I do not claim to be an expert, these are just my own thoughts on this issue. Please keep this in mind should you decide to comment.
Blessed Be

Pagan Blog Project - D for XIII????

What does the number 13 have to do with the letter "D"? Well as some one who studies Tarot, 13 is the number of the (in my opinion) highly misunderstood Death card. Nothing freaks most people out more than seeing that ominous looking skeltal knight (Rider Waite) and the word DEATH staring back at them. "Oh my god, someone I know is going to die, is it me, my parents, my friends?!?!?" Ive had this kind of freak out when I was doing a reading before, and the short answer was "Yes... with a disclaimer." Not die in the physical sense.
So what does it mean when the Death Card comes up in a reading? Well, just like all other cards in tarot, it depends on the placement in the reading. However, in general, it means that it is time to let go of something. What are you holding on to that is preventing you from reaching your potential? Is there someone in your life that is a hazard to you? We all have that habit or person in our life that we know is toxic to us. This card is telling you that it is time to move along, and part ways. It is basically the death of the relationship that you have with that habit, thing, person etc.
On the flip side of this card, maybe there is something that you need to hold onto a little stronger. Did you set a goal to get promoted? Have you started doing something that will actually help you get that promotion. Have you meet someone new? Maybe you need to open up to them more, so they can serve their purpose in your life.
Are you being cruel to yourself? Maybe you are your worst enemy causing you to not reach your goals. Maybe you are killing your own dreams, but telling yourself that you are not good enough. Has your dream died before it even had a chance to build up? Are your goals to high? Sure we would all like to be millionaires, but is that possible? Not always. Try setting a more realistic goal to give yourself a reachable point to get to.
These are just some of the questions to be considered when looking at the Death Card. Still you may be thinking to yourself, "I hate when this card comes up in a reading, and I have to see THAT look on someones face. How can I help them cope with the initial shock?" Well what I do, is as soon as I see the card come up, I immediately say "Don't freak out, this isn't a bad thing." Quickly reassure them that life as they no it is not going to come crumbling down, and that they don't need to start planning their Last Will and Testament. This usually works, but when it does not, I try to quickly incorporate that card into the reading. After all just with the image alone most people will not be able to concentrate until you give them the bad news that they know is coming from this card. Of course maybe this is the only reason this card came up in the first place. "What are you scared of?" Are you afraid that there is something in your life that you wont be able to do? Then stop procrastinating and get it done. "Don't put off for tomorrow what can be done today." Are you afraid that when you die, someone will never know how you truly feel? Tell them. What have you got to lose? Maybe they feel that same way. Maybe they don't, but by telling them, you are finally able to move on and find someone else. Are you in a "dead-end" job that is going no where? Find something different. What does your heart tell you you want to be doing?
As with most of the cards in Tarot, the Death Card is very complex, and different for each person. Listen to what the card has to say. There is always a lesson to be learned.

Of course there is always the possibility that the lesson to be learned from this card, is for you the reader. Are you afraid to give people bad news in a reading. "They are going to hate me if I tell them that things will not work out. That everything is not all wine and roses all the time." Sometimes we have to take a chance to look at ourselves every now and then. Is it time for you to stop hiding things that come up in readings? We cant be nice all the time. Everyone deserves to know the "truth." Even if it is not something that they want to hear.

All this from a simple image of a skeleton riding a horse. Of course this is just my opinions and thoughts on the card. Please use your thoughts and judgement when doing readings. If you listen, you may be surprised what they will tell you. If you listen close, they may even tell you what they "mean."
So I leave you now with a different image of a death card. Not nearly as "scary" but I think it still gets the same meaning of moving on across. Hope you like, and please let me know what you think.

13- Soldiers Memorial (Death from my Military Tarot)

Also the first card that I completed.

Blessed Be 

Need a time machine

So today I was thinking about how there never seems to be enough time to get anything done. For some reason I was thinking that it was Wednesday, when clearly it is Thursday. Where has the week gone? I know, no work on Monday, so it threw my sense of time off. I realized that I still have not read any of my assignments yet, and still had not done my Physics quiz (done now by the way). So for some strange reason, as I was getting ready to start this post, I was thinking of how it would be AMAZING if someone actually invented a Time-Turner like in Harry Potter. Granted, I am not one of those hard core Potter fans, but wouldn't it be great if we could just pull it out, and instantly have enough time to do whatever we needed to. What would you do with it? Personally, I would use it to get more sleep, and of course get school work done, which there is NEVER enough time for. But on the plus side, I did take my AFCT on Tuesday, and knocked it out of the park. My GT score went from 102 to 127, and all of my line scores went up substantially with the lowest being 125. What does this mean, in the grand scheme of things, not much. It does pretty much guarantee me an excellent bullet on my NCOER (annual evaluation report), but long term, if I should have to re-class again, it means that there really is no MOS that I could not do. So that being said, I am toying around with the idea of going to be a N4. Pretty much it is just an additional identifier to go along with my MOS. It adds a Health Physics duty to my job. What does it mean, more options of duty stations, as well as more options when I get out. With all the changes and cut backs that the Army is making, gotta start looking at the possibility of not being able to retire at 20 years. Plus, with the tough competition for senior promotions, this is something that they will be looking at to set others apart.
Well seeing as how it is just after 1030, and Alex is asleep, I will close out this post, and see everyone tomorrow for my Pagan Blog Project Post.
Blessed Be!

C for Cauldron

"Double, double toil and trouble; fore burn and cauldron bubble." Even if they have never seen or read it before, most people know these lines are from Macbeth. But what is it about these lines that makes them stand out above all others? Is it the imagery that Shakespeare used? If you have never read it, you would not know. How about this; what would happen if you asked a group of random people to describe a "Witches House?" At some point, they would probably mention a cauldron. But why is this? Why no matter who is writing does a witch story involve a cauldron? what is so special about it?

The nice thing about being in the military is that it has helped open the analytical side of my brain more. Looking at the cauldron strictly from this point of view, it is practical. After all, what self-respecting witch would be found without at least a potion or two on her shelves. In order to do this, she needs something to mix it in. And what better item the a big cast iron cauldron sitting over the stove. Such a large item is sure to allow her to make enough potion to turn any unknowing "mortal" into a toad. Now obviously in the "days of old" everyone had a large cast iron pot that would be used for cooking, so no one would be the wiser to see one in the town "wisewomans" home.

Now this could certainly prove a problem for the modern witch. With the advent of stainless steal cookware, a large cast iron pot is gonna stick out. What to do. We cannot completely drop it from our practice. After all it was Cerridwen who who stirred a cauldron containing a potion for knowledge wisdom and prophecy for a year and a day. While we may not cook potions in our cauldrons anymore, many of us still keep them as a symbol, but a symbol of what? This is up to the individual witch. Many keep them in honor or Cerridwen. Others keep them as a symbol of femininity. After all when you look at the cauldron, it is easy to see that it is shaped like a woman's pregnant belly.

Of course, who's to say that a cauldron has to be cast iron. Many modern witches do their work in the kitchen. So why not have a functional "cauldron" in the pots that you use to prepare meals. What better magic than the magic that you not only share with others, but that helps nourish them as well. After all, when you get right down to it, that's all a cauldron is, a large metal pot for cooking. So get those cauldrons out, start honoring, start cooking and start connecting. Until next time Blessed Be.

First Impressions- The Tarot of the Silicon Dawn

So just a little bit of back story. I got back from being on the road pretty much all day on Friday, to find that the mail room closed at 1200 due to the training holiday (day off for all the civilians out there), but decided to check my box anyway. Sure enough there was a slip saying I had a package. I right away knew what it was, but would have to wait until Tuesday to get it.
Sure enough I go to get the mail today, get my box, and its the lovely box from Amazon containing my Tarot of the Silicon Dawn. I had been looking at getting it for a while, and had even seen the author post progress and updates on a forum that I belong to. Well after perusing and thumbing through the book, I must say, that the wait was worth it. First, if you are not familiar with it, it has the traditional 78 cards, PLUS an additional 21. That's right, it has 99 cards! Where to begin....
So me being who I am, I immediately start to look at the cards. Let me just say, that no pictures can do theses cards justice. Many of them appear to be fairly "normal," until you move them in the light, and realize that there is a coating on them that causes other designs to appear in the light! This is pretty cool LOL. So like all decks it has the standard suits; Cups, Swords, Pents, and Wands, but each has an added "99". So each suit have 15 cards. Plus there is an added, unfinished suit of "Void." Again I have not dove full on into the book, but it looks to be interesting. Speaking of the book, not only doe it give the meanings that are unique to this deck, but it in color and 5 languages. She has managed to throw some humor into the book. For example, when talking about the fourth Fool she says "Because oh sweet mother of f***er is this fall going to hurt." I found this not only funny, but a great way to drive home the point and meaning of the card. The images are going to take some getting used to, as they are not exactly traditional. While the general idea is there, many of the cards focus more on the feminine side. I personally am not used to this, but am looking forward to exploring this more.
As far as the box it came it. It is nice as well. It has a magnetic closure, and a diagram of the cards on the inside of the lid. All said and done, I am really glad that I got this deck. As I begin to delve deeper into this deck I will be sure to update everyone as to how things are going, and any new "discoveries" that I make. Until then, take a look at this video of the author showing off her copy.

What is today?

So being in the Military, I have today off for Presidents Day... or is it Washington's Birthday, or maybe Lincoln's, or maybe its both... So is the confusion that comes with the third Monday each February. What are we actually "celebrating" and when did the madness start?

First, lets start with the official designation for this day. Officially it is Washington's Birthday. I say officially because Washington's Birthday was actually born on February 22. So why is February 20 (this years date) called Washington's Birthday? For that answer we have to go back to 1968. It was this year that Congress attempted to create a uniform system for Monday Federal Holidays. They moved three existing holidays (Washington's Birthday, Memorial Day, and Veterans Day) to fall on a Monday. It was at this time that Columbus Day (also a Monday) was designated a holiday, but that's for another day. So while doing this ensured that the holiday known as "Washington's Birthday" would never fall on his actual Birthday, where did we get the idea that it was called "President's Day?" This lovely idea came from an article in the New York Times basically talking about the Uniform Monday Holiday Act changing all federal holidays to Mondays, and combining Washington's and Lincoln's Birthday to create President's day on the third Monday of February. Confused yet?

So what of Lincoln's birthday you may ask. Well while not officially a Federal Holiday, states are able to designate their own state holidays and can celebrate Lincoln's birthday if they wish. So in an attempt to clear up all the confusion in 2001 the "Washington-Lincoln Recognition Act of 2001" was introduced stating that the third Monday in February would only be referred to as Washington's Birthday and nothing else. This bill this failed to clear committee and died before a vote. 

So I don't know about you, but even after looking at all the information I am still confused, and will just sit back with the knowledge that no matter what you do, some things are just not meant to be understood. If you would like some additional information see here and here. Also here is some interesting trivia if you are interested.

B for Book of Shadows

When many people hear Book of Shadows they think of the think 300 year old tomes made famous in many Hollywood movies. The contain all the secrets of time and all the spells ever created. When a witch is in trouble, all she has to do is open up the book, and like magic, it opens to the page that has just the spell that they need to fix anything. They also think of the book that has helped witches defeat any number of demons and evil entities. Of course, as usual, Hollywood couldn't be farther from the truth.
In all actuality, all a Book of Shadows is simply a collection of all knowledge that a witch has gathered. It can contain things as simple as the redes and correspondences and go all the way up to conducting ritual and spells. It may be something that an individual witch keeps or it may be something kept by a coven or group that details their beliefs. When it comes to a personnel book of shadows, you can keep anything you want in it and organize it anyway you want. One thing is important to remember; there is no right or wrong way to do a Book of Shadows. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS.
Along with what should be in a book of shadows another area that gets addressed many times is What should you use as a book of shadows. There seem to be two major thoughts on this topic. Either bound or binder. Personally, I prefer to use a binder due to the ease of moving pages around. Since my practice is always changing and I am one who always rearranges things, having a 3 ring binder is what works best for me. I do also have a few bound books that I use. I have one that I use as a working book to do research in. This way I can be sure that I have everything written the way I want it. I also have a bound book that I am working on to use as a "travel" book of shadows that I can easily take with me when I travel. While these books work great for me, it may not work for everyone else. What is important is to find out what works for you. If you feel that you need or want a big bound book, then do it. If you want something that you can move the pages around in go for it.
Another area of debate is hand written vs. typed. Again, if it works for you do it. If you hand writing is to messy to read, by all means type it. I actually have a combination of hand written and typed. No matter which way I do it, I feel that my energy still goes into it. The fact that I print it out on a printer instead of using ink and parchment, does not make it any less "special" or "magical" to me.
What is most important to always keep in mind is "What is important to me." If you go and buy a big fancy bound book, but have no connection with it, chances are you will not use it. Also, as I always think, what happens if I mess something up? What is less important is to stand with tradition, and what is important, is starting a tradition of your own. No matter how you decide to construct your book of shadows, think about what you want from it, what you want to put into it, and what you feel is right.

Wishing for sleep

So got three paganish posts today, so now time for a little more personal. I some how managed to get all of my assignments done for school while Alex was awake. My plan to get us up early today, really didn't work out so well, so here's hoping for a relatively short night. It was relatively calm right before bedtime, but then again, that doesn't mean anything with him. He could be nice and calm one minute, and a ball of energy the next. In fact right now I can hear him in his room playing with race cars instead of going to sleep. I am really hoping that when he goes in for his physical that the doctor will be able to provide some kind of insight as to why he wont sleep. We have tried asking him, but of course since he is 4, he really cant answer. Of course our response is that he is afraid that he is going to miss something. I really hope that he grows out of this again soon. I'm not sure how many more late nights I can take. I am really suffering in the lack of sleep department when it comes to work. I find myself falling asleep at the computer for who knows how long. I know that this is all part of being a parent, but sometimes enough is enough. It has even gotten so bad, that it feels like the husband and I don't get anytime to be together. We are always with little man, asleep, or about to fall asleep. And of course, me being who I am, makes me feel like a bad wife, on top of being a bad mother because I cant get my child to go to sleep. Not even a week ago, he was asleep by 1000 at the latest, and now all I can do is hope for no later that 1130 or 1200.
Well luckily I have tomorrow off, so that hopefully I can start off with getting him up at a normal IE early time, as well as getting a good start on my school work. The seems to be what my problem has been lately. I am just so tired when I get home on Mondays that I don't want to do anything except sleep.  Until next time. Blessed Be!

D is for Divination

The seeking after knowledge of future or hidden things by inadequate means. The means being inadequate they must, therefore, the supplemented by some power which is represented all through history as coming from gods or evil spirits. Hence the word divination has a sinister signification. Asprophecy is the lawful knowledge of the future divination, its superstitious counterpart, is the unlawful. As magic aims to do, divination aims to know.Divination is practically as old as the human race. It is found in every age and country, among the Egyptians, Chaldean's, Hindus, Romans, and Greeks; that tribes of Northern Asia had their shamans, the inhabitants of Africa their mgangas, the Celtic nation their druids, the aborigines of America their medicine-men — all recognized diviners and wizards. Everywhere divination flourished and nowhere, even today, is it completely neglected. Cicero's words were, and apparently always will be, true, that there is no nation, civilized or barbarian, which does not believe that there are signs of the future and persons who interpret them. Cicero divided divination into natural and artificial. Natural (untaught, unskilled) included dreams and oracles in which the diviner was a passive subject of inspiration, and the prediction that from a power supposed to be then and there within him. Artificial (taught, studied) comprised all foretelling from signs found in nature or produced by man. Here the diviner was active, and the divination came apparently from his own skill and observation. This division is almost the same as that given by St. Thomas with respect to the invocation of demons: divination with expressinvocation of spirits, embracing dreams, portents, or prodigies, and necromancy, and divination with tacit invocation through signs and movements observed in objects in nature, such as stars, birds, figures, etc., or through signs and arrangements produced by man, such as molten lead poured in water, casting of lots, etc. Dreams here mean those expressly prepared and prayed for with hope of intercourse with gods or the dead. Portents or prodigies are unusual and marvellous sights coming from the lower world. Here we are considering artificial divination.


The above article is from http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/05048b.htm


I started this post with the above article to provide some insight as to how many Christians see divination. Obviously as Pagans we know that what we get from divination does not come from "evil spirits" but are simple messages from the universe that tell us how things are or will be if we continue on our current paths. There is no evil behind it at all. It is simply used as a guide to help us. I am going to attempt to give a little insight into my thoughts on the topic of divination, specifically Tarot.


When it comes to Divination, there are more forms than most normal people could count. It seems like everyone has their favorite form. Mine happens to be Tarot. I have tried others like runes, but just cant seem to make any sense of the symbols. While I have not given up, I still remain loyal to tarot. There is just something about how each card forms a piece of the overall story of the reading. No matter what deck you pick up, you can usually get a sense for what the cards are telling you just based on overall basic knowledge. 
When it comes to actually using decks there seem to be at least two schools of thought. One says that you find a deck that works for you and stick with it. One the other hand there is the thought that is does not matter how many decks you use, as long as they speak to you. I am a member of the latter school of thought. I currently have two decks that I use. The ones that I use are the Transparent Tarot and The Quest Tarot. Both of these have AMAZING artwork, and really speak to me when I do a reading. I also personally feel that it is important to have other decks available for reference. One that I have found particularly helpful is the Tarot of the New Vision. 
You can easily open and Pagan/ Wiccan/ New-Age themed book, and each of them will swear by one or another form of divination. What is ultimately important in the end, is to make sure that you are able to work with your chosen medium. It will serve you no good if you are not able to connect with what you are using. Also, keep in mind, that no where does it way that as a Pagan you need to be able to do divination.
If you should decide to pursue divination keep in mind that it does take practice. If you go into it thinking that you will pick it up right away without studying, it will be that much harder for you to connect. Don't be afraid to ask for help and guidance. Above all things, divination should be a way to connect with yourself. If you don't know yourself on a deep level, it will show when you go to do readings. 

What better place to start... Altars

What is an Altar? An altar is defined as any elevated place or surface at which religious rites are performed. But what is it really? Many Pagans feel that an Altar needs to be an elaborate piece of work, with expensive pieces on it. Its true that we would all LOVE to have the $500 dollar crystal ball in the shop window, but that's not always practical or affordable. What is most important constructing an altar is the intent put into it. So on that note, is it even necessary to have it on a "surface" in the traditional sense. What about this? 

While looking at the traditional definition of an Altar, this would not count. However, on a personal level it has very special meaning to me both personally and spiritually. So why cant we carry our altars on our bodies. For that matter, why cant they be something as simple as some rocks and seashells that represent the elements and goddess and god. Don't get me wrong, I love the process of changing out my altar for the Sabbats, but there is just something about looking at the simple beauty of nature as it is and enjoying it in its natural beauty. So next time you look at your altar and think about everything you don't have, STOP and look at all that you do have and what it means to you and how special it is to you.

Pagan Blog Project 2012

http://www.paganblogproject.com

So what is it you may ask. Well basically it is a way to get in touch with your own spirituality. Each week you are given a letter of the alphabet to write about. Since there are 52 weeks in the year, and 26 letters of the alphabet each letter is "assigned" for two weeks. Needless to say I am going to give this a shot. Wish me luck.

Frustration

Really dont know what Im going to do. I feel like Im about to have a nervous breakdown if things dont change real quick. It is currently almost 100 in the morning, and Alex is in his bedroom showing no sign that he will be going to sleep soon. I dont know how much more of this I can take. I cant get anything done, cause I have to spend 2 or more hours trying to get him to go to sleep. Last night was the worst, 2.5 hours of straight screaming. Seems like no matter what I try, it doesnt work. I try rubbing his head and back, and he ends up making faces at me. I try popping his butt and he screams more. I really had to take a step back and just give up last night, and it was half the time I have spent sitting here listening to him tonight. Granted, he is not screaming anymore, but I can still hear him in his room playing and talking on his bed. I dont get what is wrong with him that he wont go to sleep. I guess Im just gonna have to take my already no existing down time after work and take him outside to the park or something to try to wear him out. What gets me is that Steve is always talking about wanting to get out of the house, and never does. He had the perfect opportunity today. H wanted to get the oil changed, but was going to wait for me to get home. Well sure enough we got stuck in a STAU and he ends up calling me, like its my fault. He could have easily gotten Alex together and gotten it done, but no instead he had to go and blame it on me instead. As usual, this only happens when he has plans. Yeah cause nothing ever goes wrong that I have to change plans that I made. Oh wait thats right, I cant make plans. If I do, I either have to do it by myself, or have to deal with him clearly wanting to be doing something else instead. Some support I got I guess. Well, I guess now that he finally seems to be asleep, I will go ahead and try to get a couple hours before I have to get up to start the cycle all over again.

Stress

So feeling extremely stressed out lately. So along with taking 4 classes and a lab, I have also been taking FAST class to improve my GT Score. Needless to say, not much time to get ANYTHING done. Well luckily the Fast class is almost over, but more on that in a minute. So along with all the classes, I have supposed to have been studying for the NCO of the Quarter Board. Yeah, REALLY no free time. So the board was today, just to find out that apparently it was a tie.... and we have to have the tie breaker TOMORROW... the same day I have to take my TABE test to get out of FAST (I know allot of acronyms I'm sorry). So I have to go to PT, take the TABE at 0800, and miss the rest of the FAST class at 1000 to be at the SGM's office at 1030 for the tie breaker. Really makes me wonder what our scores were. Don't get me wrong, I really didn't study, but I still felt pretty confident. The only thing that really threw me off was that the questions were asked differently. Normally, each board member will ask all of their questions at once. This time, it was more rapid fire bouncing back and forth. I really think I know what did me in, but oh well, what are you gonna do. I will just be glad when this is all over so that I can go back to some sense of normal (well for me anyways). So because of everything, I have kinda gotten a little behind in a few classes, but have been able to catch up for the most part over the weekend. I just have to make sure I stay on top of it, so I don't fail any classes again this semester.
So Imbolc came and went, almost without noticing because I was so busy. It was so bad that everything is still on my altar. That's OK though, because I already starting to get things together of Ostara. I am definitely not going to let that one slip by. LOL. I have gotten a few more books, and of course I ordered a new Tarot deck. Once they come in I will be sure to take a picture. Until then, just do a search for Tarot of the Silicon Dawn. They look AMAZING, and I cant wait to see them in person. Hopefully, once this board and FAST Class stuff is over, I will be able to go back to having at least a little bit of time to sit down and relax. Until then, that is what I am doing tonight. Wish me luck tomorrow.
Blessed Be!