Saturday, March 31, 2012

PBP - G for Growth

The whole reason I started this blog was to grow in my spirituality. Which it has, but how far? I feel that as Pagans we are always growing and learning. I don't think anyone ever gets to the point where they know all there is to know about about their chosen path. When we start out we have these fantastical ideas of what we want to get, what we want to do, and how we are going to do, and even what we NEED to call our selves. As we progress through our practice ideas change, we change our thoughts as we find ones that are better suited to our beliefs. For instance, when I first started down my path, I was Wiccan, however, as I have progressed I still consider myself Wiccan, but am closer to being a Pagan, in the broader sense of the word. But why call my self Wiccan? Before everyone gets upset, because it feels right to me*. No where is it written that we have to pick one set word to describe who we are (not going into race, gender, etc... I have a Multicultural Education Class for that). We should not feel tied to whatever label we chose to place on ourselves, or that others may place on us. Personally, my thoughts have changed. I have read different books, and said, I like that, but what about this... I like this wording, but want to add this to it.
As Pagans, we should feel blessed that we have the ability to chose what we want to practice. After all, the created us to be able to make these choices, so why not use them. Keep growing in your practice. find what works for you, and change it. Keep growing, and be sure to pass on what you learned to someone. Who knows, the growth that you have made may help someone else with theirs.

*Plus changing paperwork for the military every time I change my mind, practices and ideals takes allot of work

Sunday, March 25, 2012

What a Week... Finally Sunday

So since my last post, things kind of perked up a little bit. That is until Saturday, and I realized I "lost" not only my ID card, but my debit card as well. At least thats what I thought, until I finally found it earlier this afternoon sitting on my dryer. So that was lucky I guess. So we deceided to go out and get Alex a new car since Steve needed gas in the truck anyways. We get back just to find that Kovu has moved his kennel around the living room, and knocked just about everything over. We knew when we got him that he did not like to be home alone, but that was ridiculousness. So now its Sunday, and I never did my Pagan Blog Project for the week, and am still doing homework. Hopefully this coming week will be better then the last one.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What a week... Mid-week edition

So today is only Wednesday, and it has already been one of those weeks. Starting Monday and continuing into today, I just wanted to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. So on top of teaching FST, I found out that the slides that I thought were done for LRMC, we not and needed to be done by today. So I am out and not able to do them because I am teaching, I have both Soldiers who need to go out on mission, but cant because of things they have going on. I have one NCO is is leaving for TDY on Tuesday, another who is supposed to be going on Tuesday, and another who will have to do the slides... and that's just Monday. Needless to say it has been so stressful that I did not even celebrate Ostara yesterday like I had planned to. It just didn't seem fair, plus I was to mentally exhausted to do it, so I will be doing that Friday instead. So looking forward to the weekend so I can get some rest. Seems to be the norm for me more and more lately. Looking forward to something so that I can use it to get some rest.
On a better note, we got a new member of the family yesterday. His name is Kovu and he is an 8 month old Siberian Husky. So that has been the one silver lining on this otherwise shitty day.
OK, got my venting out, and feel better now. Going to lie down and relax for a little bit while I wait for Alex to go to sleep.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

PBP - F for Fire

As a water sign, sometimes writing about other elements is a little difficult. Fire however, is the exception. For me, fire is the opposite of Water. Not directionally, with Fire being South, and Water being West, but emotionally. For me Fire is the emotional opposite of water. Water is is the "gentle" emotions, and fire is "angry" emotions. When you actually see fire, it changes more and appears angrier than water.
As far as correspondences, I associate fire with the direction south and the athame. Mainly when I think of fire, I don't concern myself with the correspondences as much as how it makes me feel. The same goes with all the elements. Fire is the opposite of water. It can be put out with water and calmed down. If it gets too big, it takes on a mind of its own and can become uncontrollable. Regardless of what sign we are, we all have at least a hint of fire in ourselves. Our emotions take control of us when we get angry and upset. We get hot under the collar at the little things. All of these just show how we all connect with fire at some point in our lives. What is important is that we know how to control it. Fire can work for us. It can be just the right amount of anger to encourage us to do what we need to. It can also be our downfall. It can be the feeling he hold onto from the hurtful words, or the sense of defeat when we fail at something. Go or bad, intentional or not, Fire is all around us and in us.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Personnel Energy and other people

Has anyone ever noticed that there always seems to be certain people you encounter who just drain you physically and emotionally. Why do we allow this to happen. You would think that we would either eliminate these people from our lives, or protect ourselves from this if we have to be around them. How much do we have to get drained from us before we learn. There are some things we do because we have too, but there is no reason to put ourselves through this. They just make us feel so exhausted, and possibly do things that we would not normally do. So this is basically a note for myself, If I know that I am going to be around someone who I know is going to make me exhausted, I will make sure that I protect myself before being exposed to them.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Too many Chiefs...

So a little background. I have been in Stuttgart this past week going over our mission there, with the Environmental Health Department at LRMC* to prepare them for when they take it over. So I get back today, and see my OIC* who went with us. He tells me good job, and that he appreciates the hard work we put in. He also tells me that my NCOIC* (there are 2 different ones both with the same name) has said that he has nothing for me today, and I am good to go for the day. So, I go check my email, and head out. At about 330, I get a phone call telling that there was a formation, and who was going to be there. I said that I would not because I was at home. "Well I guess Ill take that up with CPT X, but you need to clear that through me." Then about 5 minutes before formation, the other NCOIC calls me asking me the same question, "Now I'm not mad, but who said you could go home? Ill let SFC D* know." "Well he already called me." So long story short, I think I really need to sit down and figure out where I fall in this crazy triangle of supervision. If my OIC tells me that my NCOIC said I was good for the day, ummm.... that means I'm good for the day. I have come to terms with the fact that I have no power, and am using it to my full advantage, but I need to know who I answer to, who messages are allowed to come from, and who is allowed to relay those messages to me. Because obviously something got lost in translation somewhere. The funny thing is that the message originally came from SFC D. So after a surprisingly good TDY* my week went to hell. Guess we will see what happens on Monday.

LRMC - Landstuhl Regional Medical Center
OIC - Officer in Charge, Boss of my section
NCOIC - Non-commissioned Officer in Charge, Senior enlisted in my Department. I have a Department NCOIC, and another who is another section, but still is in charge of us. I know, I know, I get a headache thinking about it myself.
TDY - Temporary Duty, going somewhere other than actual duty assignment
Ranks are the same, but names have been changed.

PBP - E for Eclectic

I cant even begin to count the number of times that I get asked the question, "so what do you believe?" For me this can tend to get a little complicated, but makes perfect sense to me. Many Pagans and Wiccans feel that in order to be a "real" pagan or wiccan, you need to follow one set of beliefs. Well for me this is not the case. I am an Eclectic. Do I see myself as Pagan? YES Do I see myself as Wiccan? YES. So what do eclectics believe? Well that depends on who you ask. Many eclectics draw from different beliefs to create what is right for them. As for me, when I get this question, the first thing I explain is my thoughts on divinity. As of right now, I do not follow any certain pantheon or deities by name. For me it is more of the feeling that the goddess and god are here, there and everywhere. Will I always feel like this? I cant say, but right now it feels right to me. Do I have to go through a long elaborate ritual set up every time I want to do any kind of work? No. If I choose to, I do, but otherwise, I keep it relatively informal. I invite the elements and goddess and god to join me for my work, and get down to business. Do I set up a circle? Yes, but I visualize as opposed to actually walking it. Is this how all eclectics conduct their practice? No, but that is was is so nice about being eclectic. The freedom to do as you choose. I personally think that while I do not worship by name, being able to practice as I see fit, allows me to be closer to the goddess and god. If I want to do spell work, or perform a ritual for a Sabbat, I am able to get down to business without all the extra work. To me being eclectic is about being free. Be able to practice as I see fit. If I don't feel like performing a Sabbat ritual on the night of the actual Sabbat, I know that I can postpone it without feeling like I am doing something wrong. If I mess up some wording because I am saying whatever comes to mind, I know that it doesn't matter. What does matter is the intent and the energy that I put into my practice, not the rules that I follow.

Friday, March 2, 2012

E for Emotions

After the week I have had, it only seems appropriate that this post for the Pagan Blog Project be about emotions, and how they can effect someones practice. Every now and then, everyone gets into that funk where you just seem out of sorts. I have had one of those weeks, and decided to write about how it has effected me and my practice, and how it could effect others as well. Let me first start off by saying that I am DEFINITELY a Cancer. I am emotional! I don't get mood swings, I get emotion swings. One minute I will be happy and the next I am just down. As many people know, your physical well-being can play a key role in your practice as a Pagan, especially if you do spell work. If you are physically out of sorts, you will not have the energy necessary for your spell work. Well, the same is true for your emotional well being. If your emotions are all over the place and out of control, so will your energies.
So what can you do? Well that all depends on the person and what exactly your emotions are doing. Sometimes you may need a good cry. Others you may need to find a place where you can just scream your lungs out. Or maybe the best thing is to just sit and think what brought these feelings on all of a sudden? After many bouts of just uncontrollable crying and screaming, I have discovered that my trigger is stress. The more stress I am under, the more emotional I become. I am more prone to crying, and feeling down then when the stress is less. So I have found that the best thing to do is take a few minutes to sit back and relax. If I'm at home, I light a candle in my altar just for this purpose and just sit. Leave it lit for while as I go about my business. Go to the room where it is, and look at it knowing that it is never as bad as I make it seem. Quickly the stress and emotions just seem to melt away. If I'm at work, I sit back and watch a pointless video on YouTube, or just step outside to get in the open.
So what about practicing while emotional. I have found that no matter where my emotions are, they play into what I am trying to do. If I am in a crying state of mind, I will have a problem getting any words for rituals or spells out. If I am shut off from my emotions, I can concentrate, since everything I am is tied to my emotions. If I have had an especially emotional day, I will just set up a quick informal circle, light my candles and sit and be with Deity.
Another part of emotions that I know I have to deal with in my practice is the emotions of others. I quickly pick up on what others are feeling, and tend to feed off of what they are feeling. Not exactly a good thing for someone who is emotional in their own right. Ive come home from visiting friends and just been so exhausted from feeling the unspoken emotions in the area. Having to take the time get rid of these so they don't weight me down. Having to deal with the emotions of those I work with, as well as my own family.
OK, so getting this all written has actually made me feel better from this week. Hmmm, maybe this is something for me to remember for future use.
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